summer 2011 please?

that one day you and I will get married (:

now you’re emotionally pushing me away.

goodbye?

every single little thing about you.

I’m going to write you a long letter. It’s never to be opened, or read until we’re married. And I want a letter from you. Telling me all about whatever you want. Tell me how silly you think letter writing is, tell me how much you love me. I won’t ever open it. I’ll keep it with me, and never lose it.

If we get married, well then we can read them. It’s a secret letter, we won’t tell anyone what they say. If one of us for some reason died before we get married, then the person who died gets their letter with them. & that’s when the other can read theirs.

can ruin a relationship. people are stupid.

the way you smile at me. 

you really do something to me. it’s strange. tonight you pointed out that it was the first time i was really staring deep into your eyes. and you liked it. i never look people directly in the eyes… i avoid it. and you caught me, hell, i caught myself.

i love how comfortable we’re becoming. i still haven’t learned what your all about, but i don’t need to know. i like how we are, whether one day we’re moving fast and the next super slow. each day is a relief having you in my life. to think that we weren’t even going to date because of other people is ridiculous. finally, i took a step back and looked at the big picture. i didn’t need anyone else. i thought why not try something new. and look at where we are now. we have an amazingly strong trust and relationship. in spite, others try their hardest to bash you and try to get me to leave you, but sweetie. they can try all they want but my skin is really thick.

i’m typing this as i’m really tired which is the best because i let my mind do the typing. train of consciousness, really. i love you robert. yeah, it’s soon. but it’s true. i know you’re the one i love, need, want, and will have in my life. you’re family is perfect, i feel so accepted, and hell. my family adores you so much. everything for us is going to be 100%, and nothing less.

we haven’t had a fight yet. yeah we get frustrated but because were the right kind of match we deal with each other in ways i didn’t know existed. sometimes i second guess myself but at the end of the night, i know what i have done and what i think is right.

LOVE YOU <3 jan. 9th 2011 <33333

until I’m engaged.